See Through a Glass Darkly
by Sabrina Lonewalker
Summary: Peter has an accident returning from a trial in Albany NY. While his colleagues search, Peter is cared for by a strange woman and Caine learns he has a rare third chance to reach an understanding with his son. The two men also learn that even Shaolin can have Guardian angels.
1. Chapter 1

**SEE THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY**

**PROLOGUE**

**by**

**Sabrina Lonewalker**

**He was having nightmares again, the cold water, the darkness, the trouble reaching the surface, his lungs feeling like they were about to explode. Then he sat up with a start and felt the warm, comfortable bed he was in. Then, she was there, kneeling next to the bed. "Are you all right? You're safe now, it was just a dream. Here, drink this." **

**She handed him a steaming mug and he sipped the rich, clear broth gratefully and carefully. It warmed him and his shivers calmed down. He looked around at the small but neat cabin. The fire was roaring in the fireplace and there was a pile of furs on the floor, where she had been sleeping, leaving the bed to him.**

**He watched her as she moved to the fire to stir the pot simmering over it. She was wearing a bulky winter parka, jeans, a flannel shirt and winter boots. Then, he remembered it was mid December but, that was about all he remembered. He looked up, "Excuse me but, who are you and, where am I?"**

**She smiled, "My name is Michelle. What's yours?" He thought and thought, closing his eyes in concentration as his left hand ran through his sandy hair. Then, his hazel eyes looked at her, worried, "I don't know." He said simply. He felt a bandage on his head and looked at Michelle.**

**She walked back to him and sat on the edge of the bed, taking his hand in hers. "I don't know who you are either. I heard a crash about six days ago and went outside to find you and your car in the lake. You must have missed the turn on that icy road. I pulled you out and brought you here before your car or, what was left of it, sank to the bottom. That lake is almost a mile deep and no one would have ever found you unless they had known specifically where you had crashed."**

**She stopped as the young man's eyes widened in amazement. Michelle continued, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "You did not have any identification on you. Your jacket was still in the car and it must have been in the pocket. I was able to recover a small duffle you had but, I had to dry everything in it. They're folded up in the small press over there." She pointed to a small chest against the wall. "There's nothing there to identify you, I checked. Do you have any idea as to what even your first name is?"**

**The young man looked at her and slowly shook his head, tears starting in his expressive eyes. Michelle squeezed his hand again, "It's ok, it will come back to you over time. Once this weather clears, I can get you to the general store but right now, the snows about four feet deep. There's no going anywhere till it melts. Do you mind if I call you 'Ryan'? You remind me of an old friend by that name"**

**He thought for a moment and then shook his head, smiling, "No, I don't mind in fact, I like the name. Ryan it is." Michelle laughed, a sound like silver bells and went into the smaller room as Ryan got out of bed, carefully, and changed into his regular clothes. She came back in and helped him to a chair next to the fireplace then, ladeled out the stew she had been cooking and, cutting a hunk off of the loaf, handed him his dinner. She set a steaming mug of hot coffee on the table beside him then, she served herself.**

**After dinner, she checked the head wound and changed the dressing, smiling. "You're lucky, Ryan," she said as she worked, "You have a bad knot but, there's no fracture in the skull. There has been a small bit of swelling but that's going down. The swelling may be why you can't remember anything right now. Once it's down completely, your memory should come back."**

**Ryan sighed, "I hope you're right, I hate not being able to remember who I am or where I came from. It's scary." Michelle nodded, "I can imagine that it would be. Now, relax, you need quiet now more than anything else." Soon, she had him back in the feather bed underneath the down comforter and he was soon deep asleep.**

**She stood and watched him for the longest then nodded, it was almost time to make a visit, to remind a certain someone how much this young man meant to him, and to remind him to never take his son for granted, ever again. This had been a close call for both of them and hopefully, it would open the old man's eyes to what he had been missing. Michelle smiled, "Sleep, young one, sleep till I return. You're safe here." Just before she disappeared, she whispered, "Sleep safely, Peter Caine, you'll be home when it's time for you to be." Then, she slowly disappeared.**

**Begin Part One**


	2. Chapter 2

**SEE THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY**

**PART ONE**

**by**

**Sabrina Lonewalker**

**Captain Simms at the 101st precinct was getting worried. Detective Peter Caine had driven to Albany to testify in the trial of a Federal fugitive that he had run to earth here in Carlsburg. Peter had called her the night after the trial ended and told her he was heading back at first light and that he would probably make it to Carlsburg by mid afternoon the next day.**

**When Simms awoke that morning, she turned on the radio. That was when she heard the weather reports about the snow storm that had hit the northern part of the state. She was slightly concerned but, not overly so as she prepared for work. **

**Once she arrived, she quickly sank into the routine of paperwork and suspects being brought in. She finally had a chance to look at the clock and she was surprised. It was 1:30 in the afternoon. She frowned as she realized she had not heard from Peter so, she tried his cell phone. All she got was his voicemail. That alone was unusual in that Peter hated voicemail, preferring to always answer his cell whenever it rang, no matter who it was.**

**Captain Simms frowned and pushed a button on the phone panel on her desk. A few seconds later, Kermit Griffin walked in and closed the door behind him. He sat down and looked at his Captain. "What's on your mind?" He asked. Karen looked at him, "Have you heard from Peter since the night after that trial?" Kermit's eyebrows rose. "No, come to think of it, I haven't. Shouldn't he have been back by now?"**

**Karen nodded, "That's what's worrying me, Kermit. I called his cell and got his voicemail." Kermit's eyes narrowed, "That's not like Peter." Karen nodded, "I know. I called his hotel in Albany and they told me he checked out early and was heading back here. He expected to be here by noon at the latest. That was almost a week ago."**

**Kermit nodded as he got to his feet. "I'm on it." He walked out and Karen felt better so, she returned to her paperwork. Kermit walked over to Blake and then TJ. Both men followed Kermit into his office where he shut the door. A few moments later, all three came out, looking rather grim and Kermit headed to the parking garage. He wasn't happy about the visit he was about to make but, he had no choice, not if they were to find Peter alive.**

**End Part One**


	3. Chapter 3

**SEE THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY**

**PART TWO**

**by**

**Sabrina Lonewalker**

**Kermit pulled up in front of the old warehouse in Chinatown and looked up at the terrace. He pulled his coat tighter around him and mounted the stairs. He had a feeling that Caine already knew his son was in trouble. He was just hoping Caine could help them locate the young man.**

**Once he entered the workroom however, he wasn't so sure. Caine looked like he hadn't slept and when he turned to Kermit, the detective was shocked to see how drawn the elderly Shaolin was looking. Kermit sat on the edge of the sleeping platform and looked at Caine. "You already know, don't you?" He asked quietly.**

**Caine nodded, "I know my son is missing and that I cannot find him." Kermit looked up, "Cannot find him?" Caine nodded, "Our connection is missing. I know he is not dead but, that is all I know." Kermit thought for a moment, "Could he have a head injury?" Caine nodded, "That is what I believe to have happened. Other than that, I do not know."**

**Kermit nodded, "Blake, TJ and I are leaving in a few to backtrack his trail. Knowing Peter, he would stick to the main highways as much as possible. We'll find him, Caine, I promise you, one way or another, we'll find him." Caine nodded and smiled sadly, "I know you will, my friend." Kermit left and Caine turned to the statue of Buddha that stood in it's shrine.**

**Verbalizing his prayers wasn't easy this time so, he did so silently. He didn't know how much time had passed when he sensed a presence in the room with him. He turned sharply to see a woman with brown hair and eyes, wearing a parka, jeans, flannel shirt and boots. He wondered, for a moment, how she got in.**

**"Who are you?" He asked quietly. He sensed no danger from her. She smiled, "I am called Michelle. You're wondering about Peter." Caine's eyes widened. "You know where he is?" Michelle nodded, "Yes, I do and he is safe. He has been hurt and he needs time to heal. You cannot help him this time, Caine. Kermit and the others will find him when they are suppossed to. I am here to see you."**

**Caine looked at her. "To see me?" Michelle nodded again. "You have taken your son for granted far too much lately. There have been days he wished to spend time with you but, you have been putting him off and he has more or less given up on asking any more. Now, he has no memory of who or what he is. He does not even remember his own name. he has a clean slate, so to speak and if he wished to, he could make an entirely new life for himself." **

**Caine gasped, Peter, with no memory? "How can I not help my son?" He asked her. Michelle smiled, "There are things he must do on his own. Soon, he will seek you out and you must never turn him away. I must return to him. Caine, you have been given what very few people ever get, a third chance. Your second one was when you and Peter were reunited here, in this city."**

**She looked steadily at the elderly Shaolin and began to transform. The light around her grew brighter and her hair lightened and her figure slimmed down. Caine stared as Michelle was transformed into a shining angel. She smiled, "You see, I am Peter's Guardian angel. When his car went into the lake, I pulled him out. Originally Caine, Peter was meant to die but, he could not, not this way, with you and he at odds with each other. I was told to go save him but, remember this, there will not be another chance. You must settle things with your son or, the next time something like this happens, he will not return to you."**

**Caine sat down, his son had been meant to die? The very idea sent fear shooting throughout his frame. Michelle nodded as she crouched next to him. "Peter loves you more than even you realize, Caine. He still wants to be like you but now, even though he possesses the brands of the Shaolin, he is still torn between what he does now and what you want him to be. You have to realize that you cannot make him into anything, he has to choose and he is so afraid that if he chooses wrong, you'll stop loving him."**

**Caine shook his head, "Never, I'll never stop loving him." He said. Michelle smiled. "I know that, Caine but Peter thinks otherwise. He is a police detective and he likes being what he is but, he so desperately craves your approval and he is afraid that as long as he is a cop, you will not approve. You know that what I am saying is true, don't you?"**

**Caine nodded as tears began to slowly slip down his weathered cheeks. "I have done my son a grave injustice by not letting him live his life his way." Michelle laid her hand on his shoulder. "By realizing, Caine, you have a chance to mend things with your son. He will come home soon, that I promise you but, you must not tell him about me, he must not know, understood? if he finds out anything, he must do the looking himself, only then can he really learn." Caine nodded and watched as she slowly disappeared, leaving him sitting there alone.**

**As he rose to his feet, he suddenly realized that Michelle had not told him where Peter was, only that she had retrieved him from his wrecked car. However, he no longer felt anxious or worried. He now knew Peter was safe, cared for. Kermit suddenly walked back into the room and looked at Caine.**

**"Caine," Kermit asked, "Are you all right?" Caine nodded, "I know now my son is all right." He hesitated, wondering how much he could tell Kermit when deep within, he knew what he could say. "Kermit, I can tell you this. There was an accident with Peter's car and he was on his way back here. If you can find his route, I believe you will find him."**

**Kermit nodded, ran out and called Blake and TJ. He also called Captain Simms and told her what they were going to do. Soon, the three men were on their way to Albany to retrace Peter's route and, hopefully, bring him home.**

**End Part Two**


	4. Chapter 4

**SEE THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY**

**PART THREE**

**by**

**Sabrina Lonewalker**

**The young man Michelle called 'Ryan" was tossing in bed. Memories were beginning to come back to him, memories of driving on the highway then, taking the exit and then, chaos. He remembered hitting a patch of what is called 'Black Ice' and the car began spinning out of control. He remembered desperately trying to unbuckle his seat belt when he saw he was headed for the lake.**

**He didn't remember much after that, except for the icy shock when he hit the water, which rushed into his car, pulling it, and him, down into the depths then, he remembered a hand reaching down and pulling him to the surface. That was all he remembered until he woke up, warm, safe and dry.**

**There was a face too, an elderly, lined face topped with grey hair and had calm, clear grey eyes. Ryan had the feeling he should know this man but, he didn't. The man was trying to say something to him but, Ryan couldn't hear him. It was as if Ryan was seeing him through a fog. Finally, the face faded away and Ryan went back to sleep.**

**Michelle smiled when she returned and saw him. He had to decide what he was going to do. Peter Caine was in an in-between world, not his Bardo but a place where you decided between living and dying. He would have to decide if he was going to go on living or not.**

**Soon, Ryan awoke and saw Michelle sitting in a chair knitting something. She looked up at him and smiled, "So, you're awake. You hungry again?" He nodded and she got him a mug of hot soup and handed it to him. He sipped it while sitting up in bed then, he looked at her. "I had a strange dream, I think." **

**He told her what he has seen, including the face of the elderly man. Michelle smiled, she knew Caine was trying to reach his son. She laid down her knitting. "Do you know him?" She asked quietly. Ryan shook his head slowly. "No, but I have the feeling that I should know him. I remembered part of the accident, I was driving somewhere when I slid off the road into the lake. You pulled me out."**

**Michelle nodded, "Yes, I did and brought you here. Have you remembered anything else about yourself yet?" Ryan shook his head. "I've tried but, I only get fleeting glimpses. It's hard to put together, like a jigsaw puzzle but, the most important pieces are missing." Michelle nodded. "I understand. It will take a little more time. Now, lean back, close you eyes and tell me what comes into your mind. Don't force anything, just let it come and tell me what you see."**

**Ryan leaned back, closing his eyes and let his mind drift. As he did so, he saw disjointed faces, people he thought he should know but didn't. He spoke in a low voice, telling Michelle what he was seeing. She sketched the faces he described and smiled. Later when he opened his eyes, she held out the pad. He looked at he faces and she saw memories trying to stir but, right now, they wouldn't.**

**He then looked at the page where she had drawn the Shaolin dragon and tiger he had described. "I should know what those mean but, how? She smiled and decided it was time, it might furthur jog his memory. "Roll up your sleeves." She told him. Ryan did, wonderingly and then, stared at the brands on his forearms, a dragon on his left arm and a tiger on his right. Seeing those triggered part of his memory but what did not come back was who he was. What he was, that was all there again. Then, his hazel eyes looked at her. "I'm a Shaolin? I'm also a cop." Michelle nodded, "Yes, Ryan, I know. I've known all along but, you had to remember for yourself. Now, think, you need to remember who you are to be whole again."**

**Ryan stared at her and then gave a gasp and a sob, "The elderly man I saw? I still don't remember who he is but He's searching for me too?" She smiled, "You have friends that are looking for you as well. Ryan, you have a choice to make." He looked at Michelle, "What do you mean?" he asked wonderingly.**

**Michelle got to her feet. "Ryan, this cabin you are in is real and yet, it isn't real. It's a waiting area, you are, shall we say, in a holding pattern and what you decide here and now will determine if you live or die. You see, Ryan, I stay here for a reason. I watch out for souls such as yours and I pulled you away from death to give you time, time to look back and think. You have to decide. Either your friends find you and take you home or, I take you to join your mother."**

**End Part Three**


	5. Chapter 5

**SEE THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY**

**PART FOUR**

**by**

**Sabrina Lonewalker**

**Ryan stared, his hazel eyes widening. "My what?" He asked. Michelle smiled, "I am an Angel, Ryan. I have always watched over you, since you were born. Many times you could have died but I was there to protect you, especially as a child. I have taken many forms over the years but, you have never known me as I really am, until now. Ryan, six days ago, when you ran off the road, You were suppossed to die."**

**That hit Ryan like a ton of bricks. "Die? I was suppossed to...die?" Michelle nodded. "But no, Ryan, you are not dead. You are alive in this place but, what you decide will either let your friends find you alive or, they will find your body in the snow next to the lake. You see, you have unfinished business and it must be resolved, one way or another. Unfinished business with that eldery man you saw in your mind."**

**Ryan nodded and then, there was a sobbing gasp. He began to cry and Michelle pulled him into her arms, "Father, that man is my father. I do know that now and I remember more now. Before I left for Albany, we had a disagreement. I want to spend more time with him but, he kept brushing me off, like he didn't care anymore. It really hurt me." Michelle nodded, "I know, that's why I went to see him while you slept. I told him that you and he needed to talk. However, if you choose, you can journey on to the other side, re enter the circle if you choose."**

**Ryan listened and thought, to re enter the circle, to have rest, to get to know his mother in a way he never had and yet, he knew that wouldn't be possible as long as he and his father had this between them. Ryan looked at her. "I can't go away and leave this unresolved. I have to go home, where I belong. I still don't remember what my real name is." He looked at his forearms and smiled. "Besides, I have a destiny, a life to live. How soon will the friends you spoke of find me?"**

**Michelle smiled, "Not long after I leave you where I placed you after pulling you out of the car. That, however, is unretrievable, as is everything that was in it." Ryan nodded. "That I understand. Ok, I'm going back but first, who are you, really? Please, I really want to know."**

**Michelle smiled, she hadn't intended to tell him but now, she realized that his need to know overrode everything else. "My name is Michelle, Ryan, Michelle Carter. I am an angel as I said but, you will know who I was on Earth soon enough. Now, you need to sleep, to rest. They will find you soon, I promise you." She kissed his forehead and Ryan fell asleep.**

**Michelle smiled as she looked at him and then, wrapping him in the quilt that had covered the bed, she scooped him into her arms. As she did, the cabin and everything in it disappeared and they were again out in the woods, next to the lake. It had stopped snowing and the sun was peeking over the horizon. **

**Michelle smiled, she heard faint voices calling Peter's name. Kermit and his friends were right on time. She laid Peter on the ground and placed his duffle bag under his head as a pillow. Then, she whispered, "You will remember me but, you will not remember that I am your angel, only that I appeared to you to rescue and reassure you. Rest, little one, soon, you will be home again."**

**She quickly moved away and watched from the shadows as Kermit, Blake, TJ and the local sheriff came out of the trees and spotted the wrapped figure. Kermit sprinted and knelt next to the sleeping man. "It's Peter! he's alive!" The sheriff called for an ambulance and soon, Peter was on his way to the local hospital.**

**Kermit looked at TJ, "Call Captain Simms and tell her. Caine will want to be here whan Peter wakes up." He looked around and saw the trail of debris and walked over to the edge of the lake and looked. He couldn't see the depths and whistled to himself, if Peter hadn't gotten out of the car. He spoke to the sheriff and they called for a wrecker to try and extract Peter's car from the depths.**

**End Part Four**


	6. Chapter 6

**SEE THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY**

**EPILOGUE**

**By**

**Sabrina Lonewalker**

**When Peter woke up, he looked around at the four walls of a hoapital room. He looked and saw the quilt he had been wrapped in spread over him on the bed. There was an IV in his left arm and a heart monitor attached. Then, he saw Kermit standing leaned against the side wall watching him.**

**He then turned to his right and there, the face he had seen, this was his father, Kwai Chang Caine and his name, his name was Peter. "Pop." Peter said and smiled at the almost automatic reply of, "Do not call me Pop." Then, Caine smiled and cupped Peter's face in his hand. "My son, can you forgive me for pushing you away?" Peter nodded, "I was afraid, when you couldn't find time to spend with me, I worried."**

**Caine nodded, "I was becoming wrapped up in my work and did not realize you wanted to come with me." Peter pulled up the sleeves of his hospital gown and both men stared at the brands on his forearms. "Dad, when I accepted these, I knew what I was doing but, how can I ever become a real Shaolin priest if I cannot watch and assist you in what you do?"**

**Caine nodded, "Now, I understand my son. Whenever you wish to accompany me, please, come to me." Peter nodded and smiled then, looked over at his friend and colleague. Kermit peered at him over the top rim of the green shades. "Does this mean you'll be leaving us at the precinct, Peter?" **

**Peter shrugged his shoulders in a characteristic gesture. "I don't know yet, I want to keep my options open. Kermit, did they find my car?" Kermit straightened up and nodded, "Yeah, at the bottom of that lake. It was pretty well busted up. They found your jacket with your identification in it and your gun. The gun can be repaired but as for the car, it's a total loss. By the way, how did you manage to cut the seat belt?"**

**Peter stared at him. "Cut it? I unbuckled it when I saw I was heading for the lake." Now it was Kermit's turn to stare. "Kid, it was sliced clean through. I looked at it and it was sliced just above the buckle." Peter looked at his father and then smiled. "Later, Dad," Peter said softly and Caine nodded. Kermit shrugged and left, leaving Father and son alone.**

**Peter laid back against the pillows and began telling his father about Michelle. Caine then told Peter about her visit. Peter looked at his father, "Did you know who she was?" Caine shook his head, "No, my son, she simply told me she was a protector and that you and I had unfinished business." Peter nodded, "Dad, she said I would know who she was when I saw her again."**

**Caine drew in a sharp breath. "No wonder I had the idea to bring this with me." Caine pulled out a small photo album from his satchel and handed it to his son. "This was your mother's. I was to have given it to you earlier but, as things passed, I forgot." He laid it in Peter's lap.**

**Peter opened the cover and drew in a breath. The first photo was old, black and white and it was a wedding photo but, the face of the bride was very familiar to the young man. It was Michelle. Peter smiled. "That's her, Pop, that's Michelle. She must have gone into the lake to get me out. Funny how we seem to have guardians watching over us." Then, he looked at the face of the groom next to her and something about him was familiar. Then, Peter's eyes widened. The groom looked like him! "Dad, what was his name?" Caine looked at the photo and smiled, "Her husband's name was Ryan Carter." Peter looked at the photo, "So that's why she called me Ryan." He mummured to himself.**

**Then Peter saw something else in the photo. He blinked a few times and peered at it closely. "Dad, look at what's behind them." Caine took the album and looked closely and his eyes widened. Behind Michelle**

**and Ryan, folded on a table, was the exact same quilt that was now covering Peter, the same one Michelle had wrapped him up in. Peter whistled.**

**Caine pulled his son to him and hugged him tightly. "I am very glad she was there for you, my son. I could not bear to lose you again." Peter burrowed his face into the comforting shoulder, feeling the warmth of his father's love wash over him. "I love you, Pop." Peter whispered. "And I you, my son." Caine whispered back. Michelle smiled as she watched, and slowly faded away to continue to watch over this very, very special descendant of hers. She had the feeling he was going to do great things.**

**Finis**


End file.
